Thinking now only legal at pharmacies

Written by Dainis W. Michel

Monday, 05 November 2007

UN Regulators and CODEX officials have now declared thought to be legal only in certified pharmacies. Application of thought in uncertified locations is now punishable by law. Fines will include jail time, torture, and flogging with feathers while under strict surveillance from armed behavior reform specialists. "Thought" has been declared a drug, after many years of scientific research on the power of the human mind. "It's not like you can't think anymore," said Dr. Overlorder, "it's just that thought used for healing purposes can only be done at pharmacies or while under the supervision of a state-certified medical practitioner." "Lame left-wing loser critics say that their thoughts are their own," continued Dr. Overlorder, head of the Really Nice and Good Virtuous Food and Drug Commission of Excellency. "However, we just want to make sure that everyone stays safe." Supporters can't wait for the laws to begin regulating belief as well as thought. Supporter Mr. BoltLoose stated "Thinking hurts my head, and it's nice to have someone around telling me what to think, so that I don't hurt myself. Also, I didn't even realize that there were people around who could tell me what to believe, so that's a real relief for me."

Last Updated ( Monday, 05 November 2007 )